I like chocolate. Unfortunately, in rural Canada it is nearly impossible to get good chocolate. Yes, I am that picky about chocolate. How hard can it be to make real chocolate? I must just live in the most remote area of the world. Camrose, a town of 16,000 people and I can’t get real friggin’ chocolate.

So, what is real chocolate? Well anything Lindt puts out passes the test. But I can’t get most of the different chocolates that Lindt makes! I have to order it from Switzerland or Germany. Bummer.

Of course the USA version of Lindt only offers the plainest most crappy chocolate they make. Wooo… Milk Chocolate. Fucking crazy shit there man, way to exotic for me. I want the regular stuff.

When I say regular, I usually mean original. And in the history of chocolate, it was a pretty savage food. I want savage chocolate! Complete with chilies! Now that is a savage sounding chocolate. So I went and got some bittersweet dark bakers chocolate and melted it. Then I took my vodka/chili maceration and poured a bit of it into the chocolate. Stir and taste. Needs sugar. Stir, taste. And there you have it, the best damn chocolate you can make. Macerate chilies in vodka (or any grain alcohol) for a couple days, mix it with hot-melted dark chocolate. Form, cool, eat.

Hot chocolate, the non pansy variety. It turns out Lindt actually makes this stuff, but theirs is like an orgasmic experience of pure chocolatey pleasure.